When she falls into a gutter on a busy road with more than 50 people starring
I went to a salon to have my hair retouched. The salon was not too far from my home. When I was done, I walked to the bus stop and when I wanted to cross a big, stinking gutter to go and take a bike, fiam! My leg just decided to have a life of its own and failed me. I think my slippers contributed to the whole thing.
My hands were on the ground, the money in my hand was everywhere and my BlackBerry bounced severally before it came to a halt. And my more than half my feet was in this disgusting pool of Lagos nonsense. I think I was in shock for about 30 secs.
The thing with this kind of awkward situation is that there is nothing you can do to make it better. So when it happened, I just picked myself up. A guy was on my case telling me to wash my legs with satchet [pure] water. I did but he wouldn’t shut up.
‘Wash it well well aunty. This one na virus o!’ ‘Buy more water now’
Oh God! Why me?
I washed and washed my leg, got tired after buying about six satchets of water and walked to a bike stand. People stared at me but I walked confidently like nothing happened. I have seen a gorgeously dressed lady fall on her butt. Wrong shoes I think. She did the unthinkable. She began to cry! A grown ass woman began to cry in public because she fell down. She wasn’t wounded or anything. Just grossly embarrassed.
Anyway, I took a bike home. I was already tugging at the jeans when my sister opened the door for me and I told her the story in the most dramatic way. I put the kettle on and later spent close to an hour in the bathroom scrubbing the hell out of myself with hot water and three kinds of antiseptic soap.
The weirdest things happen even to the most fabulous people (y’all join me as I fan myself). Just don’t lose yourself or forget who you are.
Did I add that this happened to me yesterday?
Stay cool folks. No matter what!